On A Personal Note/Birthday Thoughts

I have a confession to make. Can we talk? Can I put something personal on here that has nothing to do with makeup? Let me start with the fact that I am a typically happy person. I like to tell jokes, I like to make others happy, I like to include everyone. I like to serve others and help when they need something. I love my family, my Heavenly Father and life in general. Sometimes I see others on Facebook, blogs or Instagram and assume everyone is leading such amazing lives. Nothing is wrong, family life is perfect and kids are always darling and well behaved. Kiiiiind of liiiiiike...
I guess I feel that way because that IS what we post right? We don't post pics of the kids screaming at each other, dishes piled up in the sink or the lates argument we had with our significant other. It's not that it doesn't happen but we rarely say,"Wait, right there! Let me get the camera!!!" I'm not bashing this because it makes me happy to take pictures and post great times and memories...I just need to not be swept away in it thinking I must be the only one with problems and disappointments. I am real. I get sad, mad, hurt, & discouraged. Today especially I have been thinking. Today is my birthday. I am 33 years old and I don't know about you but each birthday (rather than Dec. 31) I like to look back and see what I am doing well and what I can improve on. One topic that has been a sore subject for me since I was in jr. high is my weight. Now I want to stop anyone right now who is thinking that I'm a silly little girl that isn't necessarily overweight. You only mostly see me from my shoulders up ; ) and even though someone is thinn"er" doesn't discount their feeling of disappointment. I got called names all the time growing up (mainly by girls) about my larger lower half of my body. I became very self conscious of my "Jennifer Lopez" and began wearing VERY baggy clothes. Luckily that was the style back then for girls.......(it WAS!) LOL
Uuuuuuummmmm noooooot quite. More like... 
Were you around for the overalls??? Back then they were considered cute and still trendy for a teenaged girl to wear. I just thanked my lucky stars they covered a lot!
As I got older I went up and own and up and down with weight but never was very happy with the way I looked. I have always had TwIgS for friends and have been the somewhat "thicker" friend. When I lived in Russia I got super skinny from all of the walking around and fresh produce they have. Processed things over there were super expensive! THIS is what I looked like at my skinniest there.
Granted while I was there I had to wear skirts all the time and could hide my lower half but it did get somewhat smaller. I came home, got married to my sweetheart and shortly after became prego. I was THRILLED!!!! I wanted a little "smooshie" so badly and we were starting ur family. Dumby me decided to eat for two.....grown people! I was a BARN!!!!!
I am sooooo embarrassed to look at this picture much less post it for ya'll. Through the years I have been up and down with my weight. When my sweet husband was out of work we both packed on quite a few pounds just from stress eating and worry. When I moved to Utah I was so impressed with how outdoorsy everyone seemed to be. We moved close to Kevin's sister and their family loves biking, swimming, skiing and racing. I felt inspired, found a girl in my church and started running. We ran for a whole year almost everyday getting ready for our half marathon.
 I didn't see pounds melting away though till I changed some eating habits. I didn't get super strict but I DID cut my portions and WOW did that make a difference. I often thought in my head,"Now if cutting portions but not the kinds of things I eat did this, imagine if I ate better things!" My sweet running partner was blessed with the miracle of being prego sooooo that's where that ended. I know, pathetic on my part. I need a buddy. 
I spoke with a lot of different people that say,"I can change your body, I can help you." I almost get emotional until they tell me how much they would charge or even worse, the price is GREAT! Why is that worse? Because someone else always will comes along and disprove what the other said and make me not even want to start. It's like trying to get up from a chair with full power, adrenaline and motivation only to be pushed right down.
Ladies, I have been asked by a wonderful group to try out their fitness and eating program and I said YES! I didn't ask for advice from anyone. Enough was enough! I didn't love what I saw in the mirror and I hadn't been running for a long time and I knew it was time to change for my sake and also for that of my sweet hubby and boys. The Revolt Challenge awoke inside of me the courage to "walk away" from my before pictures. I have been on the detox for almost a week and I cannot WAIT to share with you my journey if you'll let me, and introduce you to the wonderful Nichole Huntsman.
Like I said, no makeup involved but the whole reason I started this blog was to awake someone in me that had been lost. I saw it with other mom's too and I wanted to make a difference. Just for now I want to leave you with this startling image....here goes nothin!!!!!
The bottom is when I started Monday morning. The top is from yesterday and HERE is my most favorite birthday present yet!!!!!
WHAT????????? I am ONE step closer to not reeeaaallllyyyy lying on my driver's license LOL!!!!!!! 


Taylor's said...
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mtvuki@gmail.com said...

YOU are amazing! Way to go! Keep it up! Love ya girl!

Heather said...

I have loved your blog for a long time. I think you look fabulous but completely understand the desire to be better. Good luck on your journey!

Bree said...

Hi Jen! I'm horrible at commenting, but I love checking in and seeing your recommendations and tutorials...and wishing I could pull it all off as beautifully as you do! ;) I just wanted to tell you I'm so excited for you and look forward to hearing about the challenge. I am definitely lacking in the motivation area and would love to get in better shape. Thanks for your inspiration and all you share--I wish I would've gotten to know you better in Rexburg, you are so awesome!! Tell Kevin I say hi! :)

Tara said...

Thank you for putting yourself out there. Courageous and admirable. I think the majority of women can relate to something you wrote about. On January 1, 2013, I did the Whole 30 elimination diet. Have you heard of it? I am small, too. 5' 3.5." Not sure how tall you are, but it does come into play. I followed the Whole 30 to a tee (except for the fact that I "cheated" by weighing myself at least 3 times within the month). I needed some motivation to continue on the detox/eating style, and wow!--it sure gave me some motivation. I lost 5 lbs in 8 days---past the water weight time lapse. Within the 30 days, I ended up losing 10 lbs total, and was 2 lbs below my goal weight of 122. I was astounded! By eating high quality proteins at each meal, combined with veggies and a healthy fat, the weight melted off, and I felt great! (I had just turned 35, btw, and I have two boys of 4 1/2 and 2 1/2.) Over the years, I had always subscribed to eating 5-6 smaller meals, balancing proteins and carbs, and trying not to eat much processed food. When you do an elimination detox like the Whole 30, it really shows you just how much you were starving at a cellular level, were lacking nutrition, and how eating nutrient dense, properly prepared foods really promotes optimal health. I can't wait to hear about your program and am happy for you that you are having success! <3 Love your blog. I am new to it, and I thank you for your tutorials and humor. :)

Jen said...

Thank you for all of your comments ladies!!! I was so nervous about posting and, like you said, putting myself out there. I have felt the need to go on this journey for quite some time and cannot TELL you how glad I am. It is the PERFECT combination of doing it myself as far as motivation and drive and then someone guiding me and helping me along. I really feel you are what you eat now and clean eating is making me feel soooo much better inside! =) I can't tell you how grateful I am to have such good followers who are motivating and eager to see others succeed. You guys ROCK!!!